How To Help A Loved One

     I've decided that something that helps me in a time of panic or depression that being alone is actually one of the worst things for me. Even though I hate being a burden and will often try to hide by myself so I don't bother people. But, people lately have been asking me what they can do to help. And my best answer is just to be there. Sometimes all I need is a shoulder to cry on. No words, no offers of advice just a shoulder. Sometimes I just need to cry. But if you want to do more here's a list of things I compiled that I know helps me. This list isn't the same for everyone and what works for me might not be as helpful for your loved one. But here goes.

How To Help Your Loved One:
~ hold them
   * don't say anything just hug them if they allow and be there. Trust me, your presence is enough.

~ help them breath
   * this one is tricky. Don't coach them how to breath just say breath with me and slow your breath so they can match it. It usually takes me a minute but trying to focus on how he is breathing takes so much effort that it actually calms the panic and "grounds me"

~ know their triggers
   *It's possible that your loved one won't even know their own triggers so you might have to pay a little more attention with this one. What makes them anxious, what puts them in that dark place, what makes them breath a little faster? Once you figure these out try to minimize the triggers or be around when they are in those situations.

~ give them an out
    * For me, I'm not big on social gatherings. Sometimes all I need is for someone to say hey do you want to go outside for a minute? Yes! Yes! I want to go outside for a minute!

~ be encouraging
    * They are going to have down days. Days where what ever they're going through will be so overwhelming that they can't get themselves out of bed. Encourage them. Don't make them feel bad or small because today wasn't the day they could conquer the world. Encourage them to get up and take a shower or something small and if they do, great! If they don't that's okay. But on days where they do get out of bed and conquer the world, or even something small, celebrate it. Make them feel like they've succeeded at something magical. Because trust me, they did.

~ you're important too
   * This one is more for you. Your mental health is important too. Just remember that.

Well friends, that's all I've got for now. I'm sure there are so many more that I could list but these are the big ones for me. Please let me know if you have any questions or comments or things you would want to add! Feel free to share this list with who ever you would like to. The more people that know how to help the better.

With Love,
Elizabeth <3