It Takes A Village

"How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity!"

-Psalm 133:1 

     When I started blogging I didn't expect anything to come of it. I started it as a place for me to ramble and rant about life and health and a place to keep more of a journal of events in my life. I had no idea it would snow ball into a place for other people who are just like me to connect and cheer each other on! Before joining the online spoonie community I felt alone and isolated. I had amazing friends but none of them truly understood what it was like living with health issues every day all day. After finding the spoonie community I have been able to establish friendships that reach far beyond those who live near me. I have been able to connect with another girl my age in Las Vegas who also has Mast Cell. I've been able to connect with a delightful pal with a dog Willow who lives in a different state, but has encouraged me to keep fighting more than once. She is also the creator of the amazing card at the top of this post! 

     I have also found hope, encouragement, and answers on facebook support groups. They have been there night and day to help me learn the best way to advocate for myself, answer all of my random questions that doctors struggled to answer, and encourage me when all I wanted to do was give up. They were there. They have gone through what I am going through. They have moved the mountains I am currently trying to climb. They too, have fought with doctors on getting appropriate testing and understanding. 

     I don't know where I would be mentally without these amazing humans who stand (or sit) with me every single day. The spoonie community is a strong one, there is no bond like the friendship between two people who have never met but share the same daily struggles. To all of you spoonies thank you. And to all of you non spoonies, I appreciate your support and encouragement as well. Sometimes it really does take a village! 

With Love, 

Elizabeth <3 

*If you have a moment I highly recommend finding @idleidealsartwork on Instagram! She is so incredibly talented and is doing AMAZING things with her talent all while fighting her own battles. You can request a card for someone you know who is battling a chronic illness or disability on her Instagram page! She also has spoonie stickers available which are just as amazing as her cards! And if you really sweet talk her she might send you a photo of her adorable wittle dog Willow!* 

A Letter To My Nurses

"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you."

-John 15:12

     To every nurse I have had, thank you. Your hard work and dedication to your patients hasn't gone unnoticed. You have all spent countless hours responding to my call light, checking on me when all the monitors start beeping loudly, priming my IVs and fixing the pumps when I accidentally break them... three times. You have all shared in my triumphs and set backs. You've given me a shoulder to cry on when I just didn't think I could keep going anymore. You helped fight for me when doctors were stupid and trying to move way to fast. You have walked the halls with me and stood by my bedside in prayer. I'm tearing up just thinking about all that you have done for me and all of your other patients. 

     I know your days get long and not all your patients are as awesome as I am. Thank you for not bringing your frustrations with other patients and doctors into my room. For always being positive when you walk through my door even though it was probably difficult for you. I forget that you guys spend as much time on the phone fighting with my doctors and case managers as I do. I appreciate that more than you will ever know. 

     Nurses are the heart beat of the hospital and they don't get enough credit. They are there day in and day out. You have all brought me pudding cups at three in the morning because I was on steroids and starving. You have all brought joy and smiles into otherwise dim ICU rooms. Hospital admissions are hard, they take a toll mentally, but my nurses did everything they could to lessen that. 

     Thank you for all you do. Not just for me, but for all your patients. Your hard work doesn't go unnoticed. 

With Love, 

Elizabeth <3 

5 Things 2017 Taught Me

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"

-2 Corinthians 5:17  

    

     2017 was most definitely not my year. It wasn't a bad year by any means. It just wasn't my year. I had to move home from Nebraska because I could no longer live on my own. I spent countless days in a hospital bed trying to figure out what was actually wrong with me and how to fix it. I had to stop working at my favorite job and change my life's plan yet again. 2017 was filled with as many up's as it was filled with downs. But I'm not going to lie. I am extremely relieved it's 2018 and I am able to put last year in the past. I'm not one for New Year's resolutions. I personally think New Years resolutions is a thing gyms made up to boost their membership sales once a year. But I do want to take a few minutes to reflect on the things 2017 has taught me. So here goes... 5 things 2017 taught me. 

1) How much friendships really mean to me 

     This year God has put some truly amazing people in my life and strengthened the relationships I already had. My friends went out of their way so much this year to make sure I was happy and healthy. They came to visit me in the hospital, and snuck pizza in. They would text me if they hadn't heard from me in a while. We adopted cats together, saved lives together and got drunk while playing cards against humanity together. Those experiences will be on my heart forever. They don't know what they mean to me. These lovely humans have stuck with me through thick and thin and their friendship just means oh so much to me. 

2) How much I need Jesus 

     My faith has always been strong. But 2017 showed me just how much I needed the hope of Christ. This was a year of many difficult trials and it was always so easy to ask "why me?" or "what did I do to deserve all of this?" It took a lot of focusing to realize that I am all part of God's plan. That he will work everything out in his time according to his plan. I often forgot to praise and thank him when things were going well. But would be quick to ask for something different if the scale shifted in a different direction. 2017 taught me just how much I needed the strength of the Lord whether I wanted it or not. I have grown exponentially stronger in my faith this year. 

3) How to persevere 

     If there's one thing I learned this year it was how to keep pushing on, even when the cards are stacked against you. It felt like 2017 was a never ending string of bad news. News of not being able to return to my EMT job, deciding to move back to Vegas because I couldn't live a normal life on my own, news of a new diagnosis and then another. It was just a string of bad luck. But through all of that I learned how to keep my head up and keep pushing my limits. I learned that when life hands you lemons you throw that shit back and demand some chocolate. Not every scenario in life is going to be picture perfect and that's okay. It's how you handle the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

4) It's okay to have mental breakdowns

     It's perfectly okay to admit defeat and break down in tears. That's normal. This was hard for me to grasp. I don't like breaking down. I feel like it's a sign of weakness. I like feeling like I have it all together even when I don't. I learned this year it's okay to sit in the dark eating ice cream and just having a good cry. But I also learned you can't live there. You have your pity party and you move forward. There will always be those days you want to go lay in a hole and hope no one finds you. But there will always be great days filled with sunshine and hope. You can't let the dark days out number the shiny days. You have to find the balance. I'm still working on finding that balance. It's a hard line to toe. But I'm getting better at it. 

5) Just how incredibly strong I am

     I don't mean to toot my own horn or anything. But this year I realized just how incredibly strong and resilient I am. My body tried countless times to stop breathing and give up but I kept pushing. I kept moving forward. I am so much more stronger this year than I was last year because I had to be. I didn't have a choice. I am so proud of my little body for keeping on. You don't know how strong you actually are until your strength is all you have left. My strength was tested this year; but I won. I won the battle against myself this year and I couldn't be happier. 

What are some of the things 2017 taught you? I pray that 2018 is filled with God's richest blessings for you. That we all come out of 2018 stronger than we go into it. What ever your year has in store for you take it in stride. You can do this! 

With Love, 

Elizabeth <3 

I Am Allergic To Benadryl

If you don't know I have Mast Cell Activation Disorder. Which means at some point in my life I will become allergic to everything. It sucks and I hate it but it's a fact of life that I face every day. So much so that I take 50 mg of benadryl every four hours to keep symptoms at bay. This is causing me to be sleepy. All. The. Time. But because of this disease if I don't have name brand benadryl and not the "allergy relief" brands I am okay. Because the way the medication is compounded I am allergic to. So if all you have is benadryl and it's an allergy relief brand I will take it. Because it doesn't affect my body enough that I'll care. However; knowing this about myself I do make life threatening decisions every second of every day. Here's How. 

I AM Allergic To Water 

Knowing this about myself sucks. I am so hyper aware of everything all the time that I question if the water I drink will cause anaphylaxis. I love certain brands of water and I refuse to drink certain brands like Arrow Head. I don't know how I decide which water to drink and which water not to drink but I know that I hate Arrow Head so much that I wonder if it's causing an allergic reaction. And I know that I like water from a Britta filter so much that I wonder if it's because I'm not allergic to it. I also wonder if this is a big reason I love swimming but don't go. There are some pools I'm in that I get so itch and red I wonder if I'm allergic to the chlorine. Which is why I think I've had so many severe reactions at Wet N' Wild I refuse to go there because I wonder if I am so allergic to their chlorine it's affecting me I have to go to the hospital. But I wonder if I were to go to another water park I'd be 100% fine. 

Sleep Is A Trigger

I am not allergic to sleep. But sleep affects my life so symptomatically that I am. Because I sleep is such an allergy symptom relief for me I feel like if I just go to bed for a few minutes I'll be fine. That lack of sleep and sleep exhaustion makes it look like I'm drunk. So if my symptoms are bad the likelihood is that I am so exhausted and dehydrated that I look 100% normal if I haven't slept a solid amount in the last month. So if I ever seem drunk, high, or tired. Tell me so I can go sleep for a few hours. 

I Hate Unfamiliar Social Situations 

I want to go to church and youth group so bad but have never found one accommodating symptom wise that I have never gone. Now that I know this there were several places I felt safe enough to and never gone and I regret that. So if you feel comfortable handling something if it were emergent please let me know. Because I probably want to but symptom wise I am not because I don't feel safe there. 

Life with this disease is a living hell. I can't explain that to people. But I wouldn't wish it on the worst person. So please take that into account if I cancel plans. 

With Love, 

Elizabeth <3 

Ephesians 2:5 

My Week In Pictures May 14-21 2017

   
Hi Friends! I just created this week's The Daily Climb picture album! This is where I post all of the pictures I take throughout the week to give you guys a better look at the day to day life of a POTS patient, chronic illness warrior, and average 21 year old. I hope this gives you guys a better understanding of what I go through on a daily basis <3

The Daily Climb May 14th-21st

What I Wish I Could Tell You

   * This post is something I have been struggling with lately. I'm sure this is something a lot of people with chronic illness struggle with as well but these are based on my experiences and everyone's experience may be different. If you have anything you would like to add let me know! We're a stronger community when we build each other up and share though and ideas.*

Hi friends! I decided to make this list because I'm not good at sharing what I'm thinking aloud. This is a list of things I wish I could tell my boyfriend. I haven't shared these with him directly because it's a lot to talk about and once again I'm better at putting my words onto pages instead of sharing them out loud. So here's my list!

*We started dating before I was seriously sick. You were kind of pulled into this out of the blue and the fact that you've stuck around this long means so much to me.
*There are very few days when I feel well enough to go out or be social. Please be patient with me when we have plans and all I can manage is sitting on the couch watching movies with you.
*It takes so much energy to get ready everyday let alone get prettied up to go out. If you come over on a non date night and I'm in sweats with my hair up in a bun please don't be offended. I want to look good for you but sometimes I just can't.
*I know I sound needy often, and trust me when I say I try not to be, but sometimes I just want to talk about life and you're the only person I can think to text. Sometimes just asking how I'm feeling that day makes me feel special and thought about.
*I know I can't just rely on you. That's a lot of pressure to put on someone. I try not to only rely on you, I try to find support in other people too. I'm sorry if you still feel like I'm only turning to you. You're still someone who makes me feel safe and like everything is going to be okay.
*I wish you would just ask me questions. If you have a question about what's going on with me health wise ask, if you want to know why I canceled plans, or if you haven't heard from me in three days and want to make sure I'm still alive just ask me. I'm not good at volunteering information. I am better at explaining things as it is asked.
*Just by being someone I can talk to you already help me so much.
*I would really really love it if when you know I'm having a shitty day and you have extra time if you just ask if there's anything you can do to help. There are some days when walking from my bed to the couch is enough to start planning my funeral let alone trying to figure out how to feed myself. Even if you don't have time to hang around dropping off food so I at least don't starve from salvation is enough for me to never be able to thank you enough.
*Please tell me if I'm being to needy or clingy. It's hard for me to keep myself in check and sometimes I don't notice I'm to in your face.
*I'm still Elizabeth, the joyful, delightful, fun human being I was when we first met. It's just masked sometimes. I try to bring her out as much as I can!
*The biggest one I want you to know is you always have an out. We're dating and my health is a lot to spring on someone and expect them to just be okay with. So I want you to know that if it gets to much to handle you have an out. You can tell me that all of this is to much handle and walk away. No harm, no foul. It will suck on my end but I would completely understand.100% I would not hold a grudge against you for walking away. I hope and pray that you don't, that you stick with me through all of this the good and the bad times, but I understand if you can't. But, just a heads up, if you do take the out I may be keeping the shorts I may or may not have stolen. Mostly because they're comfy as hell.
*There's a lot more that I want to add to the list but this is it for now. Thank you for sticking with me this far and putting up with the sick Elizabeth. It may not get better but, I will learn how to cope with it better. Better days are to come and I hope you're apart of them.

With Love,
Elizabeth <3