I Choose Happy

“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body.”
-1 Corinthians 6:19-20

     I looked in the mirror a few days ago and realized that I didn't feel happy. It wasn't the weight gain, or the steroid caused acne, or even the fact that my hair had gone unwashed and hadn't seen the outside of a hair tie in a while. I just didn't feel like myself. I decided that needed to change. That it was time to feel happy inside my body again. So I made the decision to start being active again, not just on the weekends, and not just when I feel like it. But actually putting forth the effort in doing an hour of something, anything really, a day. For one whole hour.
     I started over the weekend. Going on a spontaneous hike out at Red Rocks. I got lost, about nearly didn't make it back to the car because I was so tired, and kind of accidentally almost starved myself because I forgot the lunch I packed in the car. It was 3.5 miles of hell. Google told me the hike was 2 miles to the waterfall and 2 miles back. But.. it was not. I didn't reach the actual trail head until 1.5miles in. I had to turn around before getting to the waterfall because I knew I was getting close to past my limit and since I was out alone I didn't want to push to much. I was discouraged that I decided to turn around. I felt like a failure because I set out on this adventure and couldn't make it. Once I was back in my car my watch loaded the stats onto my phone. I hiked 3.60 miles in under an hour and a half. That's amazing! I realized there is no reason to feel ashamed about that. I accomplished something big and I was turning that feeling of failure into a feeling of accomplishment.
     Then yesterday, I decided to go out to Exploration Peak. It's trail is just under half a mile but it's almost straight up. If I thought my hike at Red Rock was tough... I would have to stop every 15-20 feet to catch my breath and let my heart rate come back down from the 180s range. As I was taking a break a large group of soccer players started jogging up the mountain passed me. WHO JOGS UP A MOUNTAIN?!
     It's so hard to look at things like people jogging past me or having to turn around and not think "wow Elizabeth this is kind of pathetic." But I have to remember and constantly remind myself that my health isn't where there's is. And for what I've been through and the fact that my POTs is kind of out of control right now and still being able push through and accomplish things is pretty amazing. And I'm proud of what I am able to do. I am going to take advantage of every good and healthy day. I also signed up to be a virtual participant in the POTs Pi Day 5k so I will be doing that March 10th if anyone is interested in walking with me!

With Love,
Elizabeth <3

The Ugly Truth About Dysautonomia

"Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you,

even as your soul is getting along well."

-3 John 1:2

     Dysautonomia is the dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system is anything that your brain and body do automatically or without you specifically telling your brain to do it. So breathing, blood pressure control, temperature regulation, your heart beating, those are all examples of your autonomic nervous system. My system is just all together screwy. This is what causes my POTs or Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. It's also what causes me to be freezing in the middle of June and random fevers for no reason. But what I didn't know, is that Dysautonomia also effects the eyes. 

The nerves and blood vessels
 in the ol eye balls. 

     I made an eye appointment a while ago because my primary noticed my pupils were not reacting to light like a normal person's eyes would. My pupils also "click" when I look from side to side. I had also noticed a significant decrease in my vision especially at night. The decrease came on rather quickly. So to be sure we weren't missing something I made the appointment. I was so impressed on how knowledgeable this eye doctor was in Dysautonomia. Especially because I usually have to explain what it is to medical professionals. She said that I failed most of the vision tests and that my prescription would be moved up quite a bit. She also informed me that unfortunately, for someone my age this shouldn't be happening. I should have roughly the same vision from my 20s to my 40s. However; my vision is still getting worse. This is a result of my Dysautonomia. It's rather common for someone with a severe case to have constant worsening vision problems. The good news is the nerves and blood vessels in my eyes look healthy and seem to be functioning properly. She does not think that my vision will decrease so rapidly that it will lead to blindness, Thank God. But it is something we will have to continue monitoring. Which sucks because eyeglass lenses are expensive. 

     I'm so thankful to have a team of doctors that are watching out for subtle changes that I may dismiss. I'm thankful to have the health that I do have. For now, I'll be getting used to my new prescription and hopefully not squinting as much!  

With Love, 

Elizabeth <3 

*photo creds: Thank you @sassy.tachy.wacky on Instagram for the great Dysautonimia photo!*