"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
-Matthew 11:28-29
There is something called "The Spoon Theory". The spoon theory was written by someone with chronic illness as a sort of metaphor. When you are struggling with a chronic and invisible illness you always look fine and put together. But on the inside you're painfully exhausted from fighting a war inside yourself. Every little thing takes so much energy. The spoon theory helps people who don't have a chronic illness understand what that is like. This is also why you may hear people with chronic illness refer to themselves as a "spoonie".
The Basics:
The basic outline of the spoon theory is every morning you wake up with a certain amount of "spoons" or energy. On a good day you will wake up well rested with a full bank of spoons. On rough days you may not have gotten much sleep, or are still drained from the previous day, that you wake up with less spoons than usual.
Then, throughout the day everything you do takes a certain amount of spoons from your original count. Showering may take two spoons on a good day, but four spoons on a bad day. Going to work may take five spoons depending on what you do at work. Hanging out with friends may take spoons also because believe it or not that takes energy too. Everything you do effects the amount of spoons you have.
Extra spoons usually don't roll over to the next day and if you used to many spoons the day before and you're in the negative, it can take days to regain spoons back.
How I Use The Spoon Theory:
The spoon theory is a great way to explain the amount of energy each task takes to a "normal" person. I use the spoon theory as a reminder. How am I going to prioritize my energy today? What is most important to get done and what can be put on the back burner for another day? I looked at my planner for this week and almost wanted to cry because there was so much planned. I had to stop and prioritize. With classes starting this week some of my more useless projects had to be put to the side. Calling doctor, going to appointments, self care it all takes so much energy. But you know what... I can do it. I will gather my spoons, hike up my big girl boots and get to work. I'm ready to kick some major spoons butt this week, and every week after.
If someone you love is a spoonie and you see them struggling the best thing you can do for them is ask how you can help. A lot of us will not ask for help, we will not tell you we have been out of spoons for weeks, which is usually why our rooms are a mess, why we eat out so often, why taking naps is scheduled into the day. Ask if you can help fold their laundry, do their dishes, bring them a freezer meal so they don't have to kick. For a spoonie the littlest things can mean the most. Help them prioritize or just be there to listen. Every person is different so the best thing to do is ask. Ask what can help.
Being in a constant battle with your own body is exhausting but rewarding all at the same time. Every time I accomplish something it's like a huge momentous win because I know the amount of time, effort, and energy I put into it. What do you use your spoons for?
With Love,
Elizabeth <3
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