Yes, I am sick. Yes, I have been told that unless we gain control of what is happening in my body I will not live a full lifespan. Yes, it sucks and I am constantly living in fear. But the thing is, I refuse to fall into that "sick" role. I'm back in the hospital... again. But I don't want to sit in bed in a hospital gown and be sick. If they allow me, I get up and put on normal human clothes. Of course they're comfy clothes like sweats or my favorite pair of pajama shorts. In the morning I keep to a routine as much as I feel I am able to. I put on makeup and brush my teeth, shower, and change. Because if I let myself fall into a sick routine I find myself falling into a sickness depression.
I refuse to let my limitations stop me from going out and enjoying things. Of course I wear my mask because that helps keep me safe, but if I want to go out kayaking with people I won't let anything stop me. Of course there will be days when I am physically incapable of doing anything. Where I have to stay in bed and hope that today isn't the day the Lord takes me home. But on days where I can I get out of bed and participate in society. I do my school work and try to manage life. Because I refuse to let these random illness define me and take my enjoyment out of life. I refuse to be "sick".
With Love,
Elizabeth <3
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